Household conflict root cause of divorce and solution – Darul Ma’arif Islamic Boarding School

Darulmaarif.net – Indramayu, May 12, 2025 | 10.00 WIB

Divorce is not just a legal event, but a reflection of social, economic, and spiritual dynamics in domestic life. Data from the Central Statistics Agency (BPS) shows that throughout 2024, from 399,921 divorce cases. The main factor causes is a dispute and constant family quarrel.

It is undeniable that many efforts have been made by various parties to overcome the high divorce cases. However, why did this divorce case not subside, instead the number continued to increase?

The root of the household conflict in Islam

In Islam, marriage is a sacred bond that aims to create calm (sakinah), love (mawaddah), and mercy. However, conflicts in the household often arise due to lack of communication, inability to manage emotions, and imbalances of the role between husband and wife. Islam teaches the importance of deliberation and the resolution of conflict peacefully, as in the Qur’an it is stated:

And if you are afraid of their difficulties, then they will be tried by their families and more decisions about their families

Meaning: “If you (the saints) are worried that there will be a dispute between the two, as a peaceful man of the male family and a peace interpreter from the female family. If the two intend to do islah (peace), surely Allah gives taufik to the two. Indeed, Allah knows the MAHATELITY.” (QS. An-Nisa verse 35)

The Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad also emphasized the importance of a husband into a good example in maintaining household harmony, as the Prophet was a good example of a husband for his wives:

The best is the best for his family, and I am the best for my family

Meaning: “The best you are the best towards his family and I am the best of my family.” (HR. Imam At-Tirmidzi)

Islamic solutions to overcome household conflict

Improve effective communication
Honest and open dialogue between husband and wife is very important. Avoiding prejudice and listening with empathy can prevent misunderstandings.

Premarital education and counseling

Pre-marriage education provided by religious institutions can equip couples with knowledge of rights and obligations in marriage. Counseling is also important to help couples overcome problems that arise.

Balance of roles in the family

In the book ‘UQUD Al-Lujain’ by Sheikh Nawawi Al-Bantani emphasizes the importance of her husband as a just leader and wife as a loyal companion. The husband has the main responsibility in providing a good living, protection, and association to the wife. Wife, on the other hand, has an obligation to regulate the household and maintain self and family honor. This book also discusses the importance of loving each other, loyal, and helping one another, as well as maintaining faith and devotion together. This balance must be maintained so that there is no dominance of one party.

Family economic empowerment

Economic problems are often a source of conflict. Therefore, the empowerment of family economy through training and access to business capital can help reduce financial pressure.

Avoid domestic violence (domestic violence)

Islam forbids all forms of violence. His Majesty the Prophet Muhammad never beat his wives and exemplified the affection in the household.

Towards a harmonious and equivalent family

Building a harmonious family requires commitment from both parties to respect, understand and support each other. Islam teaches that husband and wife are equal partners in building households. By promoting the values ​​of affection, justice, and shared responsibility, we can create a strong family and become the foundation of a prosperous society.

As Allah said in the Qur’an as follows:

And from the time to create you from your soul, your wives to live in it and make it among you thinking

Meaning: “Between his signs (greatness) is that he created a partner for you from (type) yourself so that you feel peaceful to him. He makes among you love and affection. Indeed, in such a thing there really is a sign (the greatness of Allah) for the people who think.” (QS. Ar-Rum verse 21)

By understanding and practicing the teachings of Islam as a whole, we can build families that not only survive, but also become a source of happiness and blessings both in the world and in the hereafter.

Hope it is useful. Wallohu a’lam.